EXCUSES BARRIERS SOLUTIONS POST YOUR EXCUSES AND DEAL WITH THEM

You have lots of excuses not to get healthy and be fit. Excuses are reasons you use because you really don't want to get healthy and fit. At least, you don't want to fail. If this is your umpteenth time at yo yoing to get fit or the first time - doesn't matter. You need to list all your excuses, change them to barriers/ostacles - something tangible and figure out how to remove the barriers.

Things I have been told as excuses:

I DONT HAVE THE TIME. You don't have kids at home. I am too busy with kids. I might point out to you that you have 2 or 4 or 6 or more extra pair of hands to help than I do. Isn't it time that you taught your children to do their share. After all most of you both work, or you may be a single parent. Who is going to do everything for them after they leave home?They can also become part of the journey. Little ones can be incorporated into your work out. I live in an interesting neighbourhood. I see moms pushing carriages up hill - they are working out their gluts, hams, upper body - by the end of the walk with the extra resistance they have worked out their entire body - I watch them week to week lose their 'baby fat' and at the same time the child has a great outdoor nap. So if new moms can do it - so can you.

Look at how much time you spend doing things like watching tv? Why don't you shut it off and get the family doing activities preferably out doors? Walk the poor dog who has been at home all day waiting for you to come home. TV won't change your life. Instead of using it as an occasional recreational tool, we use it to occupy children, procrastinate, for zoning out or 'relaxing' We get involved in other peoples lives in reality shows instead of being involved in our own lives. I shut our tv service off sometimes for 8 months of the year because we are so active that it is a waste to pay for it.

I have as much problem finding time as anyone else. My husband is away a lot which leaves me to do all the shopping, banking, cleaning, gardening, vehicle maintenance etc. I also have pets and we have aging parents who need attention. We have friends and other family members to keep in touch with. We have social events, as well. In addition I commute a long way to work, and I work unpaid and paid overtime.

I try to plan my workout days as much as I can around when JFK (MY HUSBAND) is busy so that I don't neglect our relationship. He does what he can to help when he is home.Yes, time is a crunch for all of us. I gave up some of my dancing, almost all tv, reading novels. On the few occasions that I do watch a show, I double it up with something like sewing repairs, or knitting a gift etc. partly because I have too much energy to quietly watch tv.

So delegate, reorganize, cut, and slash the unimportant things. More recently I discovered my dad is deteriorating. His ability to keep a clean house is gone. He has the money to hire someone but grew up during frugal times and is very careful. He recently lost a lot of money speculating in the market so trying to influence him to spend money on what he would consider frivilous is useless. I have to be creative. I work extra time each day to have "earned days off". Although my own house is falling behind (I don't have a housekeeper), I may have to use this time to clean his house. I will look at it as part of my workout and be generous about it. It is time to return the past generousity of my parents.

Another thing I have discovered is that stuff wears me down. Over the years I have gathered a lot of things I don't use. I am trying to keep the 5 year, 4 year, 3 year, 2 year, 1 year plan. If you haven't used something for 5 years you sure don't need it - sell it or give it away and borrow it when you might need it. Stuff just makes cleaning and cleaning up harder. I want to work on being more minimalist but that will take time. Encourage relatives and friends to exchange consumable gifts.

I DONT HAVE THE MONEY.

I am totally with you on that. Interesting that we Canadians have been socialized to expect that only the government should spend money on our health. We want it for free and resent having to pay for it. Only problem is, the government provides very little health - that is, preventative health. They provide lots of treatment for illness albeit with waiting lists. Not only that but there is tax deduction for spending money on illness but no tax deduction for spending money on fitness and health for adults. I am sure the bank won't give out loans for fitness. Too bad there wasn't a student loan for it. The government might save a fortune on health care - go to Stats Can site sometime and see what proportion of our tax money goes to illness. I guess my nursing slip is showing :)

To go on my health and fitness journey, I made a partly selfish commitment. Partly selfish because although I spent money on myself I worked a ton of overtime to pay for it. Now that was a balancing act! To make enough money to pay for health and fitness while still having time for health and fitness. I decided that I deserved this one thing and was going to have it but that when I met my goals I would have to end my selfishness. I also did not take any exotic vacations. I felt that having my health was more important that having a few pictures and remote memories. I guess that it is a matter of priority.

For one year I also set up a reward system for myself. For reaching goals I would treat myself - usually to a spa type skin treatment. Occasionally a new outfit. However I recognize that not everyone has the options that I had. So maybe for those consumable gifts noted above, ask for money gifts if it is not too insulting. Or give up some extras temporarily. If you meet with a PT try and get a free assessment. Tell the PT what your goals are, and find out the options that may be within your budget. If you join a gym, hopefully they have an orientation program with some follow up on how to use the equipment. I still recommend working out at home with simple equipment to start. You might want to explore training with a PT online.

Another cost you should expect is clothing. Please get rid of your larger clothes as soon as you downsize - keeping them just mentally sets up the expectation that you are planning to fail. At first I kept getting clothes as I came down each size but then realized my journey was far from over and it was getting expensive.I looked for a higher end consignment clothing store - every town has one - a place where the more well funded individuals take their beautiful clothes. I also began taking my clothes there to sell - so with the earnings I bought more of the next size DOWN. Once I did stabilize to my real weight, I bought some new clothes but still tried to shop sales - waiting at least one month into the season helps.

I LIKE WOMEN WITH MEAT ON THEIR BONES. Boy do I hear that a lot from men when their wives say something nice to me about my achievement. Well I once had 'meat' or more accurately fat on my bones and I felt like sh-t. So voluptuous I understand, but obese and unhealthy? I don't understand that. I can't tell you the number of people who say I think you are getting too skinny. My weight has been stable for over 6 months. Well I have a small waist and wide shoulders - you know the beginning of that V shape from working out which does make my waist look even tinier and gives the sense of skinniness. I had one episode of skinny during my weight loss because my metabolism was so fantastic and I had trouble eating enough to keep up. I did correct it quickly. It was quite unexpected. But I can tell you from all calculations - that my body fat % is very healthy. You have no idea how liberating it is not to carry around all that excess weight. Not to mention the relief for your joints. So if a man wants a voluptuous wife - great - but an unhealthy one - yikes - that is just plain stupid. I have stopped reacting to the skinny comments. They serve no useful purpose. I eat like a (healthy) pig, I am not anorexic. It is amazing that in today's society with supersizing and obesity - that I am looked at as the abnormal one and quite often criticised by the unhealthy. By all measurement standards I am not even close to skinny.

Funny story about the comment "I like women with meat on their bones" which was said while I was at dinner with a bunch of people. Then my friend Sandrina appeared at our table to belly dance. She has a knock out lean machine muscular figure. I thought the men were going to collapse. Their eyes belied their comments. See Sandrina's web site http://www.sandrina.ca/and blog http://sandrinajoy.blogspot.com/

I LIKE MY WIFE WITH BIG B--BS. I really did have that said to me. Well big b--bs are generally associated with higher body fat although there are some women who are thin and have large breasts - not sure if they have been enhanced or they are blessed (from a man's perspective). Ask any woman with large breasts how damn uncomfortable it is. When I was large so were they - I could not wear a bra and had to wear elastic garments because the straps dug in, my shoulders had gouges - it hurt frankly. Also my straps would constantly slip off my round shoulders. Now I enjoy buying cute underwear at Victoria's Secret or La Senza. My developed shoulders keep the bra straps in place and I am so comfortable. So if having big breasts involves obesity - again I cannot believe a person would want their wife to be unhealthy and at high risk of cardiovascular disease, stoke and diabetes. And weight training gives a great breast lift!

It is not sour grapes. I loved losing my chest to a more manageable size.

So in some cases the excuses actually come from the spouse. That kind of attitude shows a huge lack of support and therefore lack of incentive for a person to change their health. I am not a relationship counsellor so I could not give advice on how to deal with it. If you really want to do something I am sure you will find a way to deal with it.

I WAS LIKE THIS WHEN I MET MY HUSBAND. THIS IS THE WAY HE LIKES ME. Ok - I like a man who provides unconditional love. But I am sure no man who loves unconditionally would want his spouse to be sick and unhealthy or be at risk of death or disease. I will bet that man does love you the way you are so he will love you every bit as much if you choose to downsize and be healthy. And I'll bet he will be very supportive if you ask for help getting there. Lucky girl(s).

WHY DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS? ARE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR? Holy c--p. Wow. From the amount of training I do when the hell do I have time? Why is it that when you do something absolutely great, that everyone thinks it is because you have some other devious plan or motive. My husband and I are not perfect. We work on our relationship. We have been married for 27 years and I think we both realize we are best friends and frankly that no one else would put up with us :) I think people are still waiting for JFK and I to announce our divorce - well don't hold your breath. We are too busy :)

I am a Leo. I was always flamboyant and outrageous. During my obese period though I hid under baggy dark clothing and did not really want to draw attention to myself. So it is not so much that I have changed or that I am going through some sort of delayed mid life crisis - as it is I have reverted back to the person I always was. No I am not having an affair. Although life with JFK has its bumps, it would take a lot for someone to measure up to his level. I really don't think there is anyone else who would love me unconditionally with what he puts up with from me.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOURSELF? HUH!!?? You mean why do I like feeling so great, engergized, fit and healthy and why do I like finding the fountain of youth? Why do I like feeling 20? I dunno. Maybe I got tired of spending my rare discretionary time at hospitals, labs, imaging deparments and doctor's offices. Maybe I got tired of comparing illnesses and bowel function with the rest of my generation. And I got tired of complaining about doctors and their lack of caring. Maybe the doctors are just exhausted and burnt out from revolving door medicine. You know, they patch you up. You abuse your body some more then they patch you up and you abuse your body some more.......and on. That is certainly what burned me out in emergency nursing. Not the true emergencies but the people who would present with lifestyle complaints.

So I feel like saying "So why don't you get it?" Why "I am doing this to myself" It is my life. I really like it. I love every minute. I get more satisfaction, and relaxation from a minute of training than I do from weeks of tv or an expensive vacation.

My question is: why does my healthy life and fitness journey upset YOU so much? Let me know. If my preaching is bothering you I will lay off. God forbid that as a nurse I would encourage you to be happy and healthy and take better care of yourself.

My question back is why are YOU doing this to yourself? Making yourself a sitting duck for mobidity or mortality. You worked all your life - are you commiting suicide so you can leave your hard earned cash to your heirs or the pet hospital? You should tick your heirs off and live forever.

I WANT TO GROW OLD GRACEFULLY. Heck so do I if it means using B---x - I can't stand that frozen look. I occasionally watch a show on Saturday morning TV about the latest stuff in esthetics, an area of interest for me. The host is a very attractive middle aged woman whose looks in my opinion are spoiled by a frozen face from the nose up. Her expression, the essence of her being is missing. An esthetic physician told me B---x is essential to prevent wrinkles - great. I guess I'll be wrinkled. Each to their own - have you seen Wayne Newton lately?!! And Ben Stiller would not be near as funny without his facial expression. Just his expression alone can make me laugh.If going old gracefully means no extreme plastic surgery or injections of stuff made from (?inert) toxins, I agree. But, my growing old gracefully stops short of letting myself go including being obese and unhealthy. I don't see why I can't grow old gracefully being the best I can be for my age.

I have no problem with keeping my skin, hair, nails etc well cared for. Nor do I have a problem going a bit further with laser treatments to undo some past damage (more on that later). But absolutely, growing old healthy, vibrant, and fit is one of the most important things to me now. How can I uphold my promises to care for some of the people in my life who need my help, if I am sick?

SABOTAGE don't ask me why but I hear (and I have experienced it) that people in our lives both those close to us and as well as casual acquaintenships may do things to sabotage us. Is it because: they are afraid when we look better we will move on? that we will expect too much from them in the way of help? that they feel pressured to take a similar journey? of jealousy? of resentment for the time and money we spend? they feel neglected?Some of it you will have to ignore and some of it you will have to address. It is always a balancing act to find time for yourself and not neglect the others in your life.